imperfect satisfaction.

The first time he did this to me. He seemed down and low and he did not even care. I knew something was going wrong but he just don't want to tell me. Now I know how it feels when I refused to tell him stuff. He did not even say a word after that. We just slept without looking at each other. I felt the distance. Did I do anything wrong? or did he just want to leave me but can't say it out? Could someone tell me what is going on? Please.


Hersey

w h o r e ?

Eventually my bestfriends think I am like a whore. Do I really look like one to them? Probably too much acting tough in front of them. I am a person who gets offended easily but I do not show. That's me. &hell yeah, I don't feel good at all after listening to that.

hersey

day of a-lot-of-confusions.

I am so confused between what is sacrifice and what is not. I mean why must people sacrifice for what they love. Well apparently I did sacrifice a lot for my new relationship but seems like my lovely King did not see much.

I was thinking if a man would mind having a Gf like me. I mean, the not so perfect. Physically. Indeed, there are something that I find I do not like about him but when he asked me about it, I just said nothing. I have no fucking idea why I just can't tell him. Hmphh.. But he did tell me a lot about stuff he would actually mind about me.

What can I do to change then? It's just me o___Oweird.

I do not wanna mention parts that I hate the most. I'll just sum things up and will say, I am feeling unsure towards this relationship already due to the things we did, are doing, going to do :(


Hersey

I don't know much. I felt like I'm another person now. I don't talk much no more. Iam more secretive. I used to be a secret revealer though.
Indeed, human changes. due to the people around them as well as the things evolved. Is this a good thing? or no? Some say they prefer the old XiangTing not the Renn right now. Well, I just do thing that I feel comfortable with. and yeah, guess I am who I am bahh. Hmph..
****************************************************************************************
The boyfriend part..at times I feel like we're using each other for some reason. Well, I do love him but this is not the way we should be. I can't talk stuff with him. I hide a lot of things from him. I do not want to tell him my personal stuff. I do not like to express my feelings. I just want him to feel that I am someone who loves him and likes everything he did. Well, that is not the fact. The truth is, sometimes I just felt like we're not meant for each other. We're too different though. A guy who can't sleep with me every night? I really can't. But I have to take it because this is the main condition for us to be together. What if I say no? It is not gonna change anything. It's pretty sad tho :(


Hersey

lost.
I am so lost.
I have totally no idea what are men thinking.
Probably, I should just go-fuck-myself.
I am stressed. not good.



hersey

love.madness.gaydom.free.easy.comfort.smile

Therefore, I found a new comfort zone.

hersey

c o n t r a d i c t i o n

hersey